Yesterday i was watching a series on TV called „Extrem Schwer“ – extremly overweight/hard/difficult. The plot of this show is that a really overwight Person tries to loose its weight during a year of coaching, sport and change in eating behavoiur. The person in this particular episode was a 224kg guy, who lived and worked at his parents house, helping his father with his business. He was a former football-Player, who stopped training over ten years ago pretty abrubtly and never adjusted his eating behavoiur, regarding the massive reduction of physical activity..at least that is, what he claimed caused his extreme obesity.
From the start i was quite sceptic if he would at all be successful, regarding his initial motivation. It seemed, as if he was joining the program rather based on his parents wishes than his own urge to change his life. His father refused to hand down his business to his already involved son, claiming he sees him not in the physical shape to run the business or even keep up with 8h straight work per day. according to the interview, the son behaved more as an employee than an aspiring leader.
Whatever, he started quite enthusiastic but was soon facing first bumps in the road, having a breakdown and being forced to lay of sports due to a hospital stay. But dafter all, he came very close to his goal of loosing 35 kg after the first 3 months. But after that he seemed to have lost his motivation, and the , in my opinion quite convincing and motivated coach, had a hard time getting him engaged in his action plan.
So why am i telling you about this? My impression after following the episode was: you really need to have a certain level of intrinsic motivation to be successful..and stay successful. There has to be a certain level of grievance that forces you to take action and keeps you on your toes.
I was really shocked that the guy did not seem to feel this after the first months. If you watch him, with his big big belly, that kept his thighs bumping into it with every step or stair he takes..his obvious inability to see anything of his body below his breast..
After my experience, you surely loose perspective of how fat you really are.. absolutely.. only pictures and videos show the real you, mostly in contrast to „normal“ people or even objects. Even a Mirror only lets you see what you want to see, because you kind of blend out the truth.
In the end I lost interest in the show when he found excuses one after the other not to participate in the offered actions. That again shows that he really did not want to be helped to lead a healthier life.. he was not ready to skip the fatal habits he had grown so used to over such a long time. But that is what is essential for any lasting success. You really need to be willing to start fresh, accept the costs and commit to keeping up the spirit, come what may. And in order to do so, you really need to want to succeed, because the motivation to please others won´t be enough.
And after almost 600 words in English it might be the right time to let you know why the hell i started writing this article in a different language.. well, i guess i am just inspirated by all the blogs and articles i’ve come to read in english in the past weeks and months..and just wanted to try if i can put my experiences down in understandable written english…so be my guest judge me..;o) After all: writing in english is not the reason for me being quiet for quite some time since my last post.. reasons for that have rather been my full time job, sports, flat-hunting for my fiancé and sometimeinthefuture-me as well as the preparations for our wedding in early october..
In one of our last psycho-sessions our assigned psychologist was absent due to sudden ilness. So we had a substitute filling in for her. That was some nice experience, because its always an experience to have another perspective reflecting your achievements.. for me at least. She did a nice little experiment with us, she called it „eating with beginners spirit“ – very freely translated, i guess.
The task was to choose a single raisin from a plate, really choose it, not just take it and place it right in front of us. We were then asked to really look a it, inspect it, only with our eyes at first, then touch it, feel it, smell it..step by step, make associations, notice what ist nice about it, what is weird, really recognize our feelings during this inspections, reflect the thoughts that enter our mind. After those several minutes of „establishing a connection“ to „our“ raisin, we were then allowed to put it in our mouth, not chew, but first feel it, taste it..then softly take one bite at it, then feel and taste again..and again.. after all experience a very slow, observing and attentive eating operation of a single raisin.
After having stretched this experience to the fullest and taking a short break to really loose the taste of the raisin in our mouths, the next step was to just grab any amount of raisins – as we would usually do – put them in our mouths, chew and swallow them the „conventional way“.
Not surprisingly, we did not enjoy the second part of the experiment quite as much as the first.
So what is the Plot of the little raisin-story? Eating something like its the first time can really give you back that great experience all kinds of foods have to offer: special tastes, consistencies, smells, feels…and it really is eating in/at another dimension. How much one can enjoy the taste of a raisin, who – like me – normally is not very fond of those wizen, dry grapes that you find everywhere, from cakes over granola to spanish spinach.. To be honest i did not get a flash of positive associations with that wrinkly raisin in my hand or mouth.. i merely rememberd my habit of eating those delicious belgian jaques chocolate pieces, my grandma gave us back when we were kids. I always broke off one single bar, wrapped a piece of the aluminum foil around the small part, that had the person on a horse embossed in it, an then slowly sucked off the melting sweet chocolate from the opposite end of the bar…there was no greater combination of taste and feel than melting milky chocolate. That´s what i was thinking about during that raisin experiment.
One should really take the time to enjoy food as much as possible, take the time, really get in touch with what you put in your mouth. It´s absolutely worth ist.
So, if by now you´re wondering what this post is really about..you are not alone.. i even have a hard time choosing a headline.. the result you see above.. maybe that is because this article grew over some weeks and in several sessions. It´s an experiment..after all, i just wanted to write something again.. and in english.. have fun with the result.
To make sure that there is at least some relevant sense to this post: i´ve reached stabilisation at 96kg..what puts me down to a total of -40kg after 41 weeks….and i am really happy about it..not to say proud.